“The pleasure is only momentary, and the position is
ridiculous.” My old pal, D., had this to
say about sexual coupling. He is
right. For the amount of psychic energy
and cost of a dinner and a show, the output is far more than the input. The formula: PE+D^2(S)=O-P proves my point.
D. is English, and doesn’t say much, but he might have said: “"There are a
number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in
women. Chief among these is the new Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible." ,
but this is attributed to P. J. O'Rourke, not to my friend.
D. came into the family room. His wife, Maureen was drinking
coffee and looking lovely. D. looked
uncomfortable, and tugged at the fly front of his jeans. “Damn Hotel Covell
pants. No ballroom. ” The Covell was a vintage,, small hotel in the
center of town, and did not have room for a ballroom. This struck me such that I remember this quip
to this day. His wife laughed so hard
she spat out coffee. D., as always, had
a slight smile on his face as he always did when he realized his impromptu, but
clever joke, was a hit.
"An abrupt beginning is much admired, after the fashion
of the clown's entry through the chemist's window…then whack at your reader at
once, hit him over the head with the sausages, brisk him up with the poker,
bundle him into the wheelbarrow, and so carry him away with you before he knows
where you are." H. G. Wells offered
this excellent advice about writing an essay. Surely, it is filled with surreal
imagery, but makes the point about writing a strong essay or a tale you might
find on these pages. I’d like to hit all my readers with sausages.
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I WILL REJECT ANY CHINESE OR JAPANESE IDIOMATIC WRITING, AUTOMATICALLY.