In Certain Matters of the Heart It's a matter of the heart, the doctor says, and he can fix it with catheter ablation. "It works miracles," he says, "in certain matters of the heart." He's been a cardiologist for years. "Take my word for it," he says. "You'll be sedated. Won't feel a thing." No excavation in my chest, either. Instead, he'll make little holes in my groin and snake tiny wires to the surface of my heart and kill the current that makes my heart race like a hare at times and mope like a turtle other times. He's never lost a patient. "You'll be fine," he says. "Trust me." Nine out of 10 ablations work. I'll save hundreds a month, he says, on medications. No more Multaq. No more Cardizem. And I'll never have to wear a heart monitor again. "Shall we give it a try?" he asks. "I've got an opening two weeks from Monday. It's an outpatient procedure. You'll go home the same day, rest for a week and then resume your usual activities, even bowling. Do you like bowling? My nurses do. I prefer woodcarving." "Okay, Doc," I tell him. "I'll give it a try, but tell me, where were you 40 years ago when the kids were small and I was young, like a bull, and a different matter of the heart dropped me like a bullet. Are you sure my heart's still ticking? Where's your stethoscope? I haven't felt a thing in years." Donal Mahoney See: https://fifthcoffee.blogspot.com/search?q=Donal+Mahoney for background on Donal. Watch for more of Donal's poems to come.