Friday, June 29, 2012

Introducing Bill Rayburn, Selma, CA

Bill is an iconoclastic contrarian author with a goal of raising more questions than unearthing answers, getting late start with both prose and the Pros, but a start nonetheless. Currently sequestered in Central California Valley, where when he walks into a bar, he immediately triples the IQ and doubles the total tooth count. Talk about your dubious achievements. 52 years slogging over this pebble, single, and poised to either hit it big, or hit the bricks.

His short story,"Confrontation", (@ 480 words) "...where a woman in a courtroom confronts her rapist before sentencing."


“When you raped me, you stole my life, snuffed out the hopes and dreams of a young girl before she would have any chance to achieve them.

When you chose to take drugs that night, you chose wrong.

When you chose to go looking for a woman to rape, you chose to ruin a life. Now, two lives.

I was 15 years old when you raped me. I was a virgin.

I will never enjoy sex again. You stole that from me. Before I ever even had it.

You say the drugs made you do it.

I say you took drugs, but they just brought out of you the evil that was already there. You are evil.

The fact that you made me pregnant with a child makes me believe there is no God. No God that I would ever want anything to do with would let your evilness invade my innocence and create a child.

I had to give up that child for adoption, after carrying her in my womb for 9 months, because every time I would look at her, I would hate her. Because to me, she was you.

When my parents look at me, I see pity, shame and a sorrow so deep, they will never unbury it.

My friends….every single one of them….want to kill you.

So do I.

I begged my lawyers to get the death penalty. They told me it wasn’t legally possible. I begged some more.

You killed a part of me. I want to kill all of you.

No man will ever want me. I am damaged. Yet, I am a million miles ahead of you.

When I try to sleep at night, you are there, in my head, killing my spirit, stealing my mind, my future, my life.

I begged my parents for the money to hire someone to kill you.

I want you to look over your shoulder and worry like I do. Every single day.

I used to work hard for the cause of black people. I was a liberal minded, good white girl who wanted fairness for all. I hated people who were racist.

Now, because of you, I find myself using the word ‘nigger’ all the time. My heart goes like a freight train whenever I see a black man. The fear is totally invasive.

You made me a racist, and I hate you for that, Nigger. (The courtroom was absolutely silent)

And finally. I cry myself to sleep every night. The doctors say I’ll never be able to have a baby......again.

I said to them, ‘Good’. Who would bring a child into a world where this could happen to them?

Go to hell. And when I see you there, I’m going to kill you again.”

(She turned toward the judge and spoke)

“Your honor. He’s yours now. I’m done with him

Until I try to sleep tonight.”